I got an e-mail from Mom today. They are back from their trip to China and HK. Mom reported that she felt weak and tired a couple of times. I am of course extremely worried about her and I feel that I have to come and visit her in December. The trip would be at a difficult time because of the timing and my finances, but I think that I have to come and at least spend some time with her and maybe convince her that she needs to take the doctor seriously.
I also gave her the URL to this journal. I have not given it out to her previously because I felt that maybe she would not be able to handle the unvarnished truth about Peter and me. I have already said in many many words (though not using the three letter word) that we are not straight. I am hoping that maybe that this journal will show that even though we are gay, we are not misfits or lonely or weird or things like that. Mom's concern is that of every parent who has a gay child: whether or not we will have families of our own. My mom wants us to be settled down and with kids.
Having kids is a big responsibility. Because having kids are something that queers have to consciously make a decision, no, a resolve (not to mention finances) to have, it is not as easy to have them. I wonder, if every parent has to make the same kind of decision we have to make, whether there would be as many kids born? Maybe there would be less child abuse in the world...