my friend hyo and i were talking today at lunch and he mentioned to me that he was quite exciting that he is finding more and more non-asian women are more attracted to him (he's korean). he says that he finds it refreshing that these women are able to cross the color line. also, i think that he's excited that somehow his dating pool is becoming wider.
somehow, i don't think that asian women have this issue because the stereotype of an asian woman is quintessentially feminine: demure, polite, servile, delicate beauty, ad nauseum. so straight men of different races find this stereotype within the boundaries of attractiveness.
i have mixed emotions about this, because even though my dating pool is larger, i think that non-asian gay men tend to "exoticize" me. i find this very confining. i am supposed to be a smooth, exotic, submissive partner with a small dick. because i don't fit neatly into the gay asian male stereotype, i think that gay or bisexual men who date asians exclusively don't really find me attractive. i find that the men whom i feel most comfortable with have been men who have never dated an asian before because somehow they don't usually have any preconceived ideas of how i am like.
i think that non-asians somehow feel that the stereotypes of asians are a positive, because the terms that are used like "hardworking", "intelligent", "polite", etc., are positive. but in reality, i feel that somehow i am being held to a higher standard than everybody else. that somehow, my grades have to be higher and my workspace to be neater or that my clothes should be more conservative than what is expected from others. it can be stressful to be thought of the asian that's not living up to the "asian potential." the terms "aggressive", "radical thinker", or even "cool" sound discordant with the asian stereotype. and who wants to be Long Duck Dong in "Sixteen Candles"?