No Milk Please: I Know.

Monday, February 26, 2007

I Know.

I know you're reading this, you motherfucker.

You liar, betrayer, boyfriend stealer.

You guiled your way into my life, pretended to be my friend, then fucked my boyfriend behind my back.

My site logs have captured your IP address, your google search terms: I know it's you, fucker. I've hidden your name in this blog with white font like this: ASSHOLE, a white word. Highlight it and see what I think of you. I've hidden it for the search engines to mine, to excavate. It's all out there.

I KNOW.

You think I've forgotten? I've got a long memory and I've got a blog. You can read about the hurt that you've caused me, it's in here, it's all in here, among the archives. Read it! READ. IT. Giggle at how stupid I was. Snicker at my trust. Go on, laugh at me.

It was shitty for a long time, but I got over it. I moved on. I fucked other people. I fucked other people's boyfriends. I just had to know what it was like. I just had to get into your head, because I couldn't get into your head with a hammer.

You can keep coming back, but that white word? It'll be here forever, a nugget of iron pyrite in an ore of gold. I hated you. I forgave you.

I don't forgive you.

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Self-Googling is Masturbation - It's compulsive, I know, but I do it too most nights when I'm lonely.