Thursday, January 22, 2004

Spam Blog

As if spam in my mailbox is not enough, now there are spam blogs. The problem is, most spam is written so poorly that it fails to do what it is supposed to do: persuade people to buy whatever it is they are selling. I mean, the spam I get is just painfully embarrassing. They are all from girls named Tiffani or Amber enticing me with their wet, dripping pussy. Eeew! Isn't it obvious with an e-mail address like hot4dick@SoSoGay.com that a hard, turgid cock would be more appropriate? If the person writing this blog only spent some time writing a more convincing story, maybe it wouldn't be so painfully obvious that it is a scam.

Here's my attempt on a spam blog:

Monday, January 19, 2004
Justin, my fourteen year-old came home today with a C in chemistry. I had been at odds with him about spending more time studying instead of playing Baldur's Gate or talking on the phone with his slutty little girlfriend. Last time she came over, she wore a skirt so short when she uncrossed her legs, you could see her soul. They're upstairs right now "meditating." Despite my extremely flexible work schedule, I find that the normal rules apply when dealing with teenagers: they treat adults like the enemy. This is the same kid that used to come running to our bedroom when Joan Rivers is on TV selling turquoise jewelry. I try to sit him down to help him study, but I realize I need help and a bottle of vodka. Maybe I should enroll him at Sylvan or something. What's the point in making a six figure salary if I can't help my own son?

Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Just talked to John at work, he gave me the number for the place he took his son Sean. Sean has already shown some improvement. His grades have gone up and the bedwetting has stopped. Sean has changed so much he has started wearing black trenchcoats to school. He's even gotten interested in learning how to shoot guns. Hopefully, my Justin will do as well. John is so happy, he told Sean that they were going to Disneyland again this year. They have been going every year since 1995. Eventually, I'll be able to do that also, since work is going so well. I will probably make a huge bonus after I meet my quota this month. I didn't think that I would ever be happy working (or should I say not working and making money), but I am. I really have to give John another blowjob for getting me this gig.

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