breakfast is the most important meal of the gay man. it is what resucitates those who go out partying all night because they skipped dinner to fit those lung-busting, bone-crushingly tight clothes. after walking out of the club at 530am, and the boom-boom-boom of the dance music fades away, the growling of the stomach can no longer be ignored. besides, if you failed to pick up that cute guy at the club, chances are, he's at the local eatery and you can continue the pursuit. so if you are a server, memorize this list and you will have an easier time of it.
Top Ten Gay Breakfast Items
10. Water
- it's free and you can chat and dish about that hottie without spending a cent.
9. Soup
- well, somebody's got to order something otherwise you'd have to leave. usually by the guy who is trying to get into your group of "A-Listers".
8. Steak and Eggs, hold the Starch
- for the musclebound gym bunny, protein is the most important ingredient--2 servings please.
7. The Works
- 3 egg omelette with cheese and choice of filling, side of hash browns, wheat toast, buttered, pancakes on the side. If you didn't get laid, damn it if you'd stifle another craving.
6. Lipstick
- for the drag queen, why order food when you can find it in your purse?
5. Cigarettes
- if you don't live in California, nicotine is the only drug you can afford after you spent it all on the hard stuff.
4. Grease
- not the musical, as in french fries.
3. Orange Juice
- it's like a mimosa without the champagne.
2. Coffee
- you have to go to work in a couple of hours coz you work retail.
1. Drugs
- why end the party?
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