Thursday, April 03, 2008


Is it just me? I had always thought that the emoticon <3 was a penis.

I've always thought that "I <3 You" meant "I want to fuck you."

The 3 looks like an ample pair of balls, don't you think? I mean, I much prefer it to be <======3 of course, helloooo, I'm gay and gigantic penises are all that's important to me.

(But you know, privately, if I was stinkin' drunk at 2am at Roscoe's, a little <3 wouldn't be so bad specially if there was $50 at the end of it.)

Anyway, it finally dawned on me that I had it wrong when I was reading the Sarah Marshall Fan site and I saw that they had colored the emoticon red like "I <3 Sarah Marshall" and then I got it--it meant a heart as in "I Heart Sarah Marshall."

Frankly, I liked my version better. When I read things like:

Mom <3 Tabasco

Kevin <3 Cucumbers or,

Condi <3 Bush (you can take that in sooo many ways)

it always made me giggle a little. I think the world is a duller place now that I have this knowledge...

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