Monday, August 11, 2008

Wedding Day

So, while I was at this reception for this gay wedding I attended this past weekend, a friend of mine asked me how my novel was going. I was shocked that my friend was asked me this question, since we were both totally drunk and I once slept with his boyfriend.

I keed, I keed, I didn't sleep with his boyfriend, because I don't think that dozing off for a few minutes after sex constitutes 'sleeping.' Plus I thought that none of my friends actually read my blog, so that it was sort of gratifying to have someone mention it.

Even though gay people have been getting married for a while, this was the first reception I was invited to and truly I was looking forward to see the total freakshow I thought it would be. Which of the grooms were going to wear white; who's going to throw the bouquet; was somebody going to use their teeth to take off the groom's jockstrap. I don't know.

Because the whole thing is sort of new ground, gays can either go totally traditional, which I think would be sort of a joke, or we can make up our own totally new, innovative, but equally tacky traditions. Gay people will totally rise to the occasion and then go overboard. You've seen what we've done to Sarah Jessica Parker. Nuff said.

But the reception was actually quite tasteful and restrained and there were genuinely touching moments, like when they ran a video tribute of some of the guests and family members who looked like they were either struggling with their emotions or there was a gun pointed at their head off-camera. There was also a short video of the actual ceremony (which took place in Toronto) and one of the grooms choked up as soon as it was his turn to recite his vows. I can imagine how it must've felt, like maybe when a tic tac gets lodged in your throat. The thought brought tears in my eyes.

I was also unsure on what to wear to the event, whether it was black tie or casual. And when Brian called our friends up, their answer was, 'wear what you would to a cocktail party,' which made me even more anxious since I had gained some weight since I last went to a cocktail party and I couldn't possibly fit my designer assless chaps without major crisco.

In the end, I wore a charcoal gray suit from the Men's Wearhouse, subdued and demure, in case they needed somebody to valet park cars. I figured I could make a few bucks, and then slip it in an envelope as a wedding gift along with whatever's left from a Starbucks gift card I got for my birthday. I think there's a few bucks left in there. I could throw in a coupon for free tampons, which should bring the total up to $20, the universally accepted wedding gift amount.

If you have the opportunity to attend a gay or lesbian wedding, I am telling you, GO! Support your friends! To me, gay marriage is the most important issue to the gay rights movement, because this is the most basic of rights. You watch, when this issue is decided, all other gay issues like discrimination, immigration, equal access to cosmetic surgery--all will fall in line.

And it's totally heartwarming to see that gays and lesbians everywhere are ready, willing and able to perform one of the most sacred rites in front of all their friends: the Chicken Dance.